You know you are talking to a blonde when...

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

* she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

* she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

* she tried to drown a fish.

* she thought a quarterback was a refund.

* she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

* she tripped over a cordless phone.

* she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

* she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

* she studied for a blood test.

* she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

* when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

* when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

* when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

* She couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

* She got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

* She couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

* When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

* She baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

* After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, she complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.